Monday, 25 May 2015

JB DAY TRIP (~˘▾˘)~

Went to Johor Bahru City Square on Saturday with the T4 batch mates! Spent the day mostly stuffing ourselves silly with food -- I approve!

Lunched at Arashi Shabu Shabu after being stuck at the causeway for about an hour. Affordable and nice Japanese hot pot, 我喜欢!I love soupy food, so hearty ^~^

My food was the least photogenic because it was just made up of a few ala carte dishes. I am too picky and didn't want all those vegetables that came with a set, so mine looks very plain and pathetic. Doesn't matter though, because I really liked the food! 

arashi shabu shabu city square jb johor bahru
Milk broth + NZ beef + fish ball + egg!

That milk broth was so creamy and milky. LOVE IT. People who are not crazy about milky food will probably find it weird though.

Watched Tomorrowland after that, and everyone seemed to dislike it except for me (are my expectations that low???) Dickson even fell asleep during the movie, hahahahaha. 

I guess the storyline might have several plot holes, but comparing a Disney movie with Interstellar would be rather unfair as well. Tomorrowland is targeted at kids and based on an attraction at Disneyland, surely they can't make things too complicated?

Overall, I thought it was an alright feel-good movie and I wouldn't mind paying that 18RM for a movie if it makes me happy :)

Decided on dinner at Kim Gary Hong Kong Restaurant and was pleasantly surprised by the affordable price yet again! I am #cheapandproudofit <( ̄︶ ̄)>

I ordered this set meal that has Nissin noodles with fried egg and ham + french toast + fried sausage + iced yuan yang, and I *think* (think only ah, don't blame me for wrong info) it costs less than SGD10. Super value for money can???

kim gary hong kong restaurant set D nissin noodles ham fried egg french toast yuan yang sausage
They judged me for ordering instant noodles :'(

Stomachs were on the verge of exploding because we finished lunch at 4pm and had dinner just a few hours later. Not like that is going to stop us from getting dessert though, soooo we had Baskin Robbins!

baskin robbins pralines and cream
Pralines and cream, my go to flavour :*

It is like a tradition to get BR ice cream each time I go to somewhere in Malaysia/Indonesia. All the Baskin Robbins overload at Genting, and that time in Batam. It is just more appealing when I am overseas, I don't even know why???

Anyway, presenting... the best travel buddies ever, who make any trip enjoyable no matter how near or otherwise boring it could have been ^_^


I look so fat in this photo I cannot take it omg fat tummy and unflattering angle (▰˘︹˘▰) 

I think this post sounded very boring, but I am ill and have a terrible headache so I don't care anymore, heh. If you bothered making through everything, I am touched and thoroughly impressed ( ˘ ³˘)♥

Friday, 22 May 2015

IT'S ONLY THE SECOND WEEK OF SUMMER?!

It is only the second official week of summer. I had no idea. Y2S2 feels like the distant past...

Anyway, the holidays have been treating me well so far! Meet-ups with friends and meetings for work, then nua-ing at home. Enjoying this chill life while I still can! (nuuu I refuse to enter adulthood and step into the working world no no no)

Dinner with Tim


Yay finally met Tim to catch up!

OH CRAP WE FORGOT TO TAKE A PHOTO TOGETHER. He was saying our photo at formal dinner wasn't very nice and that we should take one when we meet. All we took were photos with horse and duck masks on... oops.

Anyway, dinner at 49 Seats as suggested by yours truly :P

49 Seats tom yam seafood pasta cheese fries
Tom Yam Seafood Pasta, Chicken Chop (I think?) and Cheese Fries!

I hope the food was good enough! I always feel so stressed when I suggest the food place because it will be my fault if the food sucks and everyone hated their dining experience, heh.

Had Llaollao for dessert, although I think my Llaollao cravings have declined drastically. Good. Save money.


Llaollao medium raffaello caramelised cookies blueberry medium
咬摇!(哈哈,华语cool!)

Went to Tokyu Hands after that. Tokyu Hands one of the most entertaining shops ever. Seriously, the whole place was filled with interesting and sometimes strange finds.

Case in point: presenting to you... the Facial Fitness Pao!


I think this costs over $200?!!?!??!??? The lengths we would go to defy the ephemerality of beauty.

If all else fails, Tokyu Hands also sells face masks to hide your saggy ageing face. This one's great if you are going for a BFF animal farm theme.

tokyu hands horse duck mask
Old McDonald had a farm. Had.

Sorry for the blurry photo but my hooves were rather unstable.

Ooh, and I really love this pudding head thingythingy!

tokyu hands pudding head mask
SO CUTE LEH. Makes up for my lack of cuteness right?

Xin Wang with Daphy


Okay so a few days ago, it was 3am and I suddenly wanted the cream pasta from Xin Wang Hongkong Cafe so I whatsapped Daphy at 3am to jio her. And she replied immediately. Yay, nocturnal buddies ^_^

Xin Wang Hongkong cafe cream pasta luncheon meat
Cravings satisfied! u_u

I love their cream pasta! Cream-based pasta always tend to be too jelat, and I get sick of the food after half a plate, but the one at Xin Wang never sickens me. Also, the spaghetti today was cooked perfectly, not too undercooked or too mushy. Perfectly cooked noodles slithering around the cream sauce, yumz.

And then I was itching to try Nookie Yogurt the day before, so I dragged her along to buy it, heh. Thanks for accompanying me when my random cravings strike, he he.

Nookie yogurt red velvet parfait
Red Velvet Parfait, $6.90.

I like the presentation! They carefully sprinkled crumbs all over the yogurt, instead of those half-assed staff you sometimes get at Llaollao who dump a pathetic amount of sauce on one side of a drooping swirl of yogurt and call it a day. 

Still, photogenic food can rarely justify their price on looks alone. Taste-wise, this was pretty meh. Typical froyo, tart and slightly milky, nothing to scream about. I do enjoy the chocolate sauce though, the consistency was like thick chocolate fudge. I hate watery Hershey's chocolate syrup, ew

(I just realised: I had pasta + froyo two days in a row. Sheesh, no originality.)

Food aside, we spent the rest of the day trying out makeup from Etude House, Innisfree and Sephora. Oh man, all these temptations. I. MUST. RESIST. Always end up with a sparkly hand full of red smudges, teehee.

Dinner with Chris


Our post-finals meet-up! Dinner at Nam Nam Noodle Bar, although I think he finds their food inferior, ha ha high standards. Still, I SATISFIED MY NAMNAM CRAVINGS YAY.

nam nam noodle bar pho beef slices viet coffee with condensed milk iced
I don't care if it seems like kway teow soup, I love this.

Chris wanted eclairs, so we had dessert at Maison Kayser. We ordered the lychee, rose and raspberry eclair, which turned out to be quite a disappointment :(

maison kayser singapore lychee raspberry rose eclair
$4.50 worth of disappointment on a plate.

I had a terrible first impression because the presentation sucks. They just take the eclair and dump it on a boring plate (that looks suspiciously like the ones in Tembusu's dining hall). I guess I should have lowered my expectations.

The lychee taste was quite strong and overpowered the rose and raspberry, which sucks because I don't really like lychee. Okay, I think my bad review is mostly based on my own biased preferences.

Dessert round 2 was YiLi Paopao Ice! Got the milk and egg + peanut and oreo flavour. Hmm, nothing much to rave about leh? The milk and egg flavour was quite icy, peanut flavour had a thicker and creamier consistency and tasted like peanut butter. This was really average so I have nothing else to say about it.

yili paopao ice orchard central
Looks smaller than I expected. Okay what's with all my failed expectations today?

So... I went to town three days in a row, oh my. Every single holiday, I get so sick of town, ahaha. Singapore is getting quite boring. Can't wait for the JB trip this Saturday! ٩(^ᴗ^)۶

***

If you actually made it through the entire post (wow) or just happen to scroll past everything but see this, here are two links to entertain yourself with (am I using positive reinforcement to condition visitors to read my blog entries? Hahahahaha)!

I spent my whole night reading lots of random crap and so can you!

01. wtfevolution | Super cute and interesting tumblr account about evolution! It's actually educational, which I guess justifies the time wasted?

02. this girl's Carousell account | Her product descriptions are so genuine and humorously so, I ended up looking at every single item she is selling just to read them.

"1. dark denim ripped and frayed distressed highwaist $15 - 4 functional buttons. Sorry if you are wearing this and need to pee very badly." 

WHY SO CUTE, CAN YOU BE MY FRIEND.

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

ヾ(^∇^)

Back from another day of work-related meeting!

I must say, I am really quite enjoying this flexible hours thing, although I foresee a much busier schedule ahead in the near future. It's also really fulfilling when you get shit done and feel that sense of accomplishment (although we haven't accomplished much yet).

Anyway, this barista at the City Square Mall Coffee Bean outlet totally made my day today! I ordered a small double chocolate ice blended but when he gave me my drink, he said "you ordered a small but here's a regular for you!" Aww, so nice :)

Took a photo because this made me so happy I think I should document it.

I already had a very good impression of him because he was extremely cheerful when he took my order. I mean, cashiers and waiters might smile and be friendly but his was on a whole other level.

His chirpiness was even more impressive because he was actually quite busy, being the only staff there to take orders, make and serve the food/drinks. Must be quite exhausting, yet he seemed so energetic. Maybe he was secretly overdosing on coffee shots, I don't know where else he gets his energy from.

Jeannie was like "maybe he likes you" lol NO, he was really friendly to all the other customers as well! This lady asked for a refill for her coffee and requested for more hot water and he was all "sure sure no problem!!!" *smile smile* and so she was smiling too.

Unexpected nice gestures can really make someone's day :)

Oh, the bus driver I met yesterday was really nice too. He was actually greeting and smiling at every passenger boarding the bus. This was quite unexpected so I only realised when I walked past the driver's seat. Had to turn around to smile back at him cos of my lag reaction, heh. His job must be very tiring so the extra effort really means a lot!

Aww, so many nice people recently (^-^*)/

Not sure if I am more easily contented now, or if I just happen to chance upon more of such encounters lately.

Ooh, coming home to my Luxola delivery yesterday made my day too, hehe.

I love the design of Luxola bags!
Looks quite sad with only two products, but it made me happy so I decided to take a photo of it as well.

Bought the Laneige BB Cushion (Pore Control) and I am really satisfied with it! Wore it for 4-5 hours today and my face is relatively less oily, so yay to money well spent! It was supposed to be $59 but I used this coupon to get $20 off, he he he ;)

The other product was just this Wet 'n' Wild Glassy Gloss that I added to my cart to get free delivery, since it was one of the cheapest items ($5.86) available. It is cheap but turned out to be quite good!

I am becoming more superficial and vain, oh my. Buying so much makeup and feeling so happy about it, heh *hairflip*

***

Random thought: I wonder how many people are secretly stalking my blog, hmm.

It gets a bit scary, realising from the stats that people are actually scrolling through my posts, although I was the one who chose to post them and make this blog public anyway. Duh, Evelyn (¬_¬)

It is just a bit shocking when page views can spike up to 40+ on certain days because I am only expecting maybe 3. This is obviously nothing compared to all those bloggers out there but I treat this like my diary so 3 views per day is already very good, ha ha.

But then again, I am also a kaypoh who scrolls through people's blogs for fun so I can understand the appeal of this, no matter how boring my blog might be.

Maybe I am secretly stalking you too ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Monday, 18 May 2015

THE NUA LIFE CHOSE ME

Amidst the meet-ups with friends, work stuff and other random things, I am really treasuring the times when I have a whole day to myself.

This is probably the introverted side of me speaking, but I really love spending time alone. It is pure joy knowing that I can wake up any time I wish, and just laze my day away at home.

Finally had a day to myself today, so I'm feeling super shiok and am therefore happily blogging about it. It is even better because I get to be antisocial and rest at home after a day of smiling and talking non-stop at the FASS Open House.

Seriously, unhealthy snacks and Gossip Girl binge? SHIOK.

Okay, this is probably really boring because I am literally blogging about doing nothing much all day, heh.

***

Anyway, was at FASS Open House yesterday to talk to people about CNM and it was actually really fun! Most people were really nice to talk to and I really enjoyed some of the conversations I had.

I love it when people seem so genuinely interested in the course, and especially when they ask me for my personal opinion or experience since that is what I have the most authority to talk about. Some of them asked me why I chose this school and this major in particular, which modules I liked and why I enjoy studying in CNM.

At certain points, me and Jeannie got super enthusiastic with promoting the camps because we really enjoyed them so much and feel like we benefitted a lot from all the friends and helpful seniors we met there. 100% true story, bro.

Anyway, if you are a potential CNM freshie and happen to stumble upon this post, go check out the CNM Camp Facebook page!

***

Also, not sure what has gotten into me but I have had this urge to eat non-stop lately (and no it's not because of code red). Sometimes with the amount of junk food I eat and the random craving attacks, I feel like I have the appetite of a pregnant lady, sigh.

Watching the Tried and Tested video of Shu An's favourite snacks certainly did not help, because I am now itching to try the banoffee pie from Marks and Spencer. Went in search for it but it was sold out :( I also have this craving for the 7-eleven Hanjuku Eggs that I need to satisfy ASAP.

Well, at least I managed to try the Hokkaido 3.6% Milk today. Always wanted to try it and Haozhe's snapchat of this was the last straw. $2.10 for this, not a cheap gamble okay!

Hokkaido 3.6% milk
Tadah, my long-awaited Hokkaido Milk (why is the picture so blurry).

Everyone seemed to be raving about Hokkaido milk but I found it pretty normal?

To be fair, I have never liked fresh milk. I have this strange obsession with milk, but the milk I have in mind is always something really creamy and sweet, like how condensed milk or Milkcow tastes. I guess this explains why I am constantly disappointed whenever I attempt to drink fresh milk on its own.

***

Okay, this entry was typed out of boredom because it is 4am and I refuse to sleep even though I have work to do tomorrow. Instead, I am typing this while snacking on overpriced food from Marks and Spencer. Why do I always deny myself of sleep when there is no reason to do so? I am strange.

Saturday, 16 May 2015

ARE YOU BEAUTIFUL?

(Pardon the cheesy title that sounds like some Dove campaign, heh)

So I stumbled upon this video today (although it was uploaded a year ago #slow) and thought it was quite thought-provoking.


Hmm, I guess this video struck a nerve because it's something that I can relate to. I used to be really insecure and self-conscious, and while I think I have improved tremendously, I still have my insecurities and self-doubt. Duh, who can ever be completely free from insecurities?

Maybe it's an Asian parent thing, but I could really relate to what she said. On hindsight, I never really cared about these traits until I was told to view them negatively. A lot of the things that I was conscious about, I only felt that way because I was told to see them as flaws that had to be corrected or removed.

I have been told I have a big nose and should pinch it every day to make it sharper (whut???), that I have terrible complexion and should apply all these facial products and went for facial treatments that hurt like a bitch, that my hair was dry like "干草" and should apply some hair treatment oil, or that I am too short (but no solutions to fix this, ha ha).

I know my mother meant well and was just providing suggestions or advice, and I certainly don't resent her for it. I don't think those comments were what made me insecure (because my insecurities were not looks-related), but they drew attention to what I would otherwise ignore. Growing up, I was especially self-conscious about my big nose and terrible complexion. I hated how smiling made my nose look even bigger, and how I always get oily skin and huge pores without fail.

I still dislike those particular traits of mine, but now, I just have the "this sucks but I was born like this and if you can't deal with it then too bad" mentality. If I ever have a boyfriend that tells me I need to put makeup or pull whatever stunt to hide my flaws because he finds it gross, then out the door he goes. Or at least I hope I will be 狠 enough to do so.

I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with putting on makeup and all that, because the act of doing so is not the root of the problem. I am starting to like putting on makeup because it's really quite fun, although I am still a complete noob. Makeup or no makeup, I guess the main focus is to accept yourself the way you are (ugh, so cheesy but it's true leh).

In fact, I think makeup can be empowering if you have the right mindset. It should never be a matter of hating your bare face and dying of shame should anyone ever catch you without makeup.

Instead, it is rather empowering to know that you have this face of yours that is perfectly fine the way it is, but you also have the ability to use makeup to enhance your existing features should you wish to do so. And when you remove your makeup, you are still as amazing as ever, just without the additional layer of goop.

It's like, my phone is awesome and it can look nice with a cover, but it is still the same awesome phone when I remove the cover and I love it all the same. Did that analogy make any sense?

It applies to other things as well. There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve your complexion through whatever means, but you should keep in mind that there is also nothing wrong with having acne or big pores or oily skin.

I think we sometimes care too much about what others think of us, without realising that others are usually too caught up worrying about that exact same thing to actually critically judge you for such superficial details. And the few who do judge you, who cares what they think?

***

Okay, I am not sure if this entry was coherent because it's 2am and I don't know why I always tend to have such lengthy reflections only when it is past midnight. Probably time to sleep, because it's FASS Open Day tomorrow and I need all the energy I can garner for the 8 hours of talking tomorrow.

I will probably come back to proofread and edit this again some other time.

Zzz.

P.S. Yes I know the video is part of a play production, but the message remains the same, no?

Friday, 15 May 2015

POST-FINALS LIFE

It's been a week since finals ended! It actually feels much longer, and I don't even remember what it's like to be in school anymore, heehee.

Some updates of my post-finals life because I like to read old entries and recall all the things I did (hi future me)!

Last day of finals

Went for a midnight supper run since finals are over and I no longer have to worry about waking up early to study, whoop whoop!

G7 Sinma Live Bull Frog Claypot Porridge
G7 Sinma Live Bull Frog Claypot Porridge
I LOVE FROG LEG AND I LOVE PORRIDGE. Tummy is happy! ^_^

Eventually ended up at West Coast Park when it was five in the morning, which means macs breakfast!!!

West Coast Park McDonalds breakfast
I can never say no to macs breakfast.

Wah Chee with Machiavelli

Okay, no photos because I was eating the same thing as I did a week ago. 

Anyway, it was Zen and Haozhe's first time at wahchee, omg??!?! How can you live in Tembusu for a year and not step foot into wahchee?! I am honoured to have witnessed their virgin wahchee experience.

Somehow decided that we should be more unhealthy and ended up at Star Vista to get dessert. Milkcow's Star Vista outlet was open, *~yay~*! I love Milkcow so much, definitely superior to Honeycreme.

Suite outing

Our very bittersweet suite outing (bittersuite outing? Ok bad pun don't kill me I'm sorry).

First stop, Yoshimaru Ramen Bar. They had this 1-for-1 ramen discount if you pay with DBS card, iirc. That's like $8 for a bowl of ramen, super value for money!

Yoshimaru Ramen Bar 1-for-1 DBS offer
So fun to grind the seaseme seeds even though I don't add it to my noodles.
Next up, dessert at Sunday Folks! (I need to stop having dessert, this can't be healthy)

Sunday Folks Vanilla Bean Waffle Soft Serve
Waffles with Vanilla Bean soft serve!
Finally got to try Sunday Folks, one place to strike off my food bucket list! The waffles were gooood, warm and sweet and fluffy on the inside. I am getting very hungry as I type this entry :(

Spontaneous decision to catch Cinderella, and the other level 7 suite was also watching it so yay, combined suite movie!

07-163 & 07-170
I wasn't expecting much from Cinderella, but it was such a feel-good movie that I was so happy after watching it. I am obsessed with this particular soundtrack now, it's just so magical I wish it could play in the background when amazing things happen in my life.


Had dinner in the dining hall to save money and also cuz it was our last dinner together in Tembusu :'( Sigh, told you this was a bittersweet day.

Last Tembusu dinner
I'll miss the food and dining hall auntie from the Malay stall!

Last breakfast

Had our last breakfast together before everyone moved out that day :( 

I keep taking photos of my last moments in Tembusu and they are unglam on purpose, because I want to capture my Tembusu life the way it really was, without any attempts to make it Instragram-worthy or whatever nonsense.

last Tembusu breakfast
Last breakfast in Tembusu :(

#07-163! :*

Teoheng and mookata

Rushed off after breakfast to meet the moomoos for teoheng! Everyone was running late so Louis was the only one sitting in the large Teoheng room and singing all by himself #lonelyboi. Looked damn funny hahahahaha but I shouldn't be laughing cos I was late too, heehee.

Had dinner at this mookata place called Oinkata, which was not bad! About $18.90 for student price, add $4 for free flow thai milk tea. I thought I was going to get normal milk tea, which only makes the thai milk tea even better.

I think we sat there for 2.5h, oinkoink. Satisfying mookata meal with the moomoos!

Smelly moomoos with flat and oily hair after soaking in mookata fumes.

Last night in Tembusu

Being the overly sentimental piece of shit that I am, I started tearing up on the way back to Tembusu because it was my last night in Tembusu. And then I started thinking about how it was my last time traveling back to Tembusu as my home, how the suite would be so empty because everyone has moved out, how I will never be living there with my suite mates anymore... :'(

My Tembusu life, all packed up in two hours.

Nope, not anymore.
Thought I would spend my last night in Tembusu being all sappy and crying in my room, but I got jio-ed for supper at Al-Azhar. Thanks guys for inviting me along and making my last night a lot less depressing!

Al-alzhar supper

First day of work

My internship has super flexible hours but I guess Monday (11 May) was technically my first day of work. Ended up at One°15 to tag along for some meeting. Such an atas place, and everything looks even prettier with the sunny weather! ☼

One degree 15
Maybe I'll be a rich taitai and live here one day *_*
#wishfulthinking

Banana Tree Cafe

Had bingsu with Mabel at Banana Tree Cafe! Saw people Instagramming the food here and I could not resist. They had bingsu that looked like potted plants, omg?! How do you say no to that?

We shared the Pot Bingsu, which has shaved ice, red beans, milk, some crumbly peanut powder and what I think was peanut butter ice cream. The ingredients went really well together and the portion was HUGE, I think four people can share this.

Banana tree sg pot bingsu
Pot Bingsu!

Banana tree sg
Cute hand-painted deco on the wall!

Banana tree sg
I love this roof, makes the cafe look so bright! Good lighting for Instagramming, I guess?

More work

Went back to UTown today to discuss some work stuff with Jeannie. Passed by Tembusu and couldn't help but take a photo, hahaha seriously why am I such a sentimental person? I need to get a life.

UTown always looks so pretty when it's sunny.

Yep, first official week of summer is about to end. I am glad this summer is going to be really packed, so I won't end up lazing my three months away. The internships seem challenging, but how else will I grow if not faced with obstacles to overcome?

Looking forward to slogging it out for 8 hours at the FASS Open House this weekend, more catching up with friends, food outings and work!

Also, can somebody help me clean up my room, I am too sentimental to throw away all the bullshit that are taking up unnecessary space :\

Monday, 11 May 2015

SUMMER IS HERE!

I have been feeling so overwhelmed these days. End of finals, post-finals outings, ending my Tembusu chapter (the crying tires me out ha ha ha), moving back home, trying to tidy up my very messy room, dealing with one internship, suddenly getting another one, taking LOA next semester for an internship...

To think I was actually worried about having nothing to do this summer. Funny how things keep changing, from one internship to none to two.

What I've realised the past few days is that change is the only constant. I can't stay in Tembusu forever, or sometimes plans change along the way, but that's how life works. I'll just have to learn to roll with it.

Now I feel like I need some alone time for myself to reflect and take a breather.

Shall update this space when I finally deal with all of these!

Btw, why am I getting so many random viewers on my blog, where is everyone coming from? Okay some are easy to guess based on the country but oh man is everyone just bored after finals? Hello have fun stalking, I hope I don't bore you!

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

DONE WITH THE SEMESTER

I AM FINALLY DONE WITH FINALS! ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪

My snapchat failed to upload properly, so I'm just gonna post it here lulz.
Sitting outside the exam hall cos we left early, whoopwhoop!

LLAOLLAO WITH THE MOOMOOS AFTER NM2104!

Moomoos in our CNM shirt!
#CNMpride
Summer awaits me. 3 months with nothing to do.

Kinda sucks that the internship screwed up last minute, but I am also quite glad to have 3 months all to myself. I want to find a job, earn money, maybe travel somewhere, learn Photoshop, read all those books in my Kindle that I neglected this semester, crash Arts Camp and NM Camp, basically have 3 months to do whatever I want.

Goodbye year 2 sem 2. This was quite a good semester with amazing project mates, module mates and suite mates! Love all of you guys for making these four months enjoyable ♥

And for now, SLEEP.

Monday, 4 May 2015

Overwhelmed

Today was the most unproductive day in all my attempts at studying for finals.

I think I let my thoughts and emotions get to me too easily. Too many thoughts are crowding my mind today. All I did was sleep the entire afternoon away, and restlessly flop around my bed at night. Thank goodness for the suite mates because their company alone made the day so much better :)

Scrolling through the artparasites Facebook page was not the wisest thing to do. I hate it when people use the word 'feels' as a noun, but that was what it was. So much feels. Feels overload. Could not deal with all the feels that were overwhelming me.


"my thoughts are stars i can't fathom into constellations"




“The trouble is that, for women, being “nice” often translates into putting up with things we should never put up with....

I believe we should not be ashamed of the way we are, whether or not they abide by societal norms and expectations. At the same time, I sometimes wonder to myself, "maybe I should be more/less ___ otherwise nobody would want me and I will end up alone," and I instantly feel ashamed for even thinking that.

So what if my laughter is not the most delicate, if I don't walk in a very ladylike manner, if I have strong views about certain topics and come off as opinionated, if I have physical flaws? I think, at the end of the day, I would rather end up alone than end up with someone who does not accept me the way I am and only makes me feel inadequate.

There is a fine line between self-improvement and changing yourself for others. I will want to improve myself, be less lazy, more driven, healthier, etc. But certain things are the way I am. Things like my physical "flaws", things like having huge pores or monolids and small eyes, I was born like this and I should only be with someone who acknowledges it but does not care either way. Maybe sometimes I will put on makeup to hide those flaws because putting on makeup is fun and it's always nice to look nice, but I must never allow myself to settle for anyone who fails to appreciate that I am human and inherently flawed. I should, however, hopefully find someone who constantly pushes me to improve myself.

"To love someone means to pursue what is best for them, and sometimes you are not what is best for them, that is a hard...
Posted by berlin-artparasites on Friday, 9 January 2015

I think I am beginning to learn this. It's a work in progress, but anything is better than nothing. I guess only time will tell how everything turns out. I believe, I hope, that things happen for a reason and it's for the best that things ended and life goes on. I know I am recovering, but I also know that I am someone who thinks far too much about everything, which only makes it harder to let go of things.

“You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll...
Posted by berlin-artparasites on Saturday, 21 February 2015

I feel like I have learned a lot from my two years in university thus far. Dealing with failed friendships and failed relationships, realising that people will drift apart and certain friendships will always remain superficial, trying to figure out how to deal with all the changes that come my way, coping with the ephemerality of everything, telling myself that it's okay because that is how life works.

It will be a challenge, coping with life without Tembusu. More significantly, life without my suite mates. Without their company every day, without the mundane conversations that never fail to make me laugh or smile, without the physical presence of my peers around me all the time. Simply by being physically there or by carrying out trivial day-to-day activities, they were a pillar of strength because it was comforting to know that at least I was physically not alone.

So many thoughts crowding my mind, demanding my attention and refusing to let me do anything productive. I feel a sense of relief to finally pen down some of these thoughts. I need to learn to handle such situations better in future. For now, all I can do is go to sleep and hope for a more productive study day tomorrow.

Okay, hoping is useless. I will make sure it is productive. Tomorrow must and therefore will be a productive day. Week 9, 10, 11 and 12 to cover for my final paper. Thematic analysis, narrative analysis, discourse analysis, semiotics analysis, writing qualitative research papers. Bring it on.

Saturday, 2 May 2015

SUMMER IS ALMOST HERE

ONE PAPER LEFT TO GO.

I am losing steam, readings are too convoluted for me to comprehend, and I just want to slap myself left right centre for procrastinating so much and being this unproductive.

Some random stuff that have been entertaining me during my bouts of distraction (ok actually I was distracted most of the time I attempt to study).

01. WHAT FOREIGN WORKERS IN SINGAPORE THINK ABOUT YOU S'POREANS | Always find it intriguing to uncover the hidden communities and unsung heroes of Singapore. I know this is a small sample size, but I find it rather heartwarming to know that they are happy working and living in Singapore, love the food and feel safe here :)

02. OUR LOVE STORY/HOW WE MET/MARRIED AT 22 | This person's blog entry about how she met her husband in secondary school and got married at 22. I think it's so cute reading about secondary school puppy love, aww. Life was so much less complicated in the past. Brings me back to my secondary school days and all those crushes and 暧昧 incidents, hehe.

03. The most Googled products in every country in one crazy map | Reminds me of NM2302, oh my. When you superimpose the space of flows with the space of places. Singapore's most Googled term is 'maid'. Hmm.

04. 50 Timeless Pieces Of Advice About Love & Relationships | Lots of thoughtcatalog stuff are bullshit, but this one was not too bad. I don't agree with every single piece of advice, but reading this together with the benefit of hindsight made me realise all that mistakes I need to learn from. We accept the love we think we deserve, and I should never allow myself to settle for anything less, ever again.

***

If you fall asleep down by the water / Baby, I'll carry you all the way home
This song came on when I was watching Gossip Girl. Feels.

One of my favourite songs since JC till now :')

It's just another film that won't get made
Another one of my favourite songs since JC.

My mind has been rather cluttered recently, with all these thoughts that make me feel rather conflicted. Things of the past, do I suppress the emotions or do I confront them? Do I let the past remain in the past, or do I still deal with it hoping that it would settle things for good, once and for all? Not sure if all these inner conflicts arise because studying gets boring and my mind wanders, or if it's because of other circumstances.

I am really curious to know. Do people ever fully get over their past? I find it very impossible. Things from your past shaped who you are today, which makes them inherently a part of you that can never be shaken off. I believe all you can do is learn from the past and deal with it. But how do I deal with it such that I am able to move forward?

This calls for plenty of reflections and introspection once finals are over.